Wow, where to begin. It’s been so long and I am sorry to all who have been looking for Holly follow-ups. I have been in somewhat of a “funk” we will call it. I am getting better day by day. I guess it is usual for some to go through after treatment. After all I did just KICK cancer’s butt.

I guess when I came out of all this I kind of found myself looking back and wondering what the... I mean I had so much support it was overwhelming at times. I love you all very much, but at times I just didn’t want to tell anyone how I felt, or what was going on. You go through this crazy rollercoaster of emotion, pain, strength, and determination. Then in the end of it all I was told I was cancer free. I found myself feeling so lonely, all the support, my boyfriend that cared, and then all the sudden nothing. Now don’t take this wrong I know in the crazy head of mine that you are all still there if I EVER needed anything, but there are some really bad days. It’s strange and hard to explain, and has nothing to do with the way any of you have been to me. I found myself saying I just made it through one of the hardest most difficult things I probably will ever go through in my life (at least I hope and pray that’s it) But I should be full of joy, happy, blessed, overjoyed.. I could go on and on. Instead though; I feel sad, down, and lonely. Why? I figured that blogging again might be a bit of therapy. Might be a way for me to get it out and to tell you all that I am fine.

So enough of what I have been going through but where I am going! I am getting ready to move into a one bedroom. I am hoping this will be a new beginning for me. Of what to come I am not sure. Hopefully I can find myself and happiness.

So with that I will try to keep this up more often as kind of way for me to get it all out. All the therapist I saw wanted to do was throw me on more drugs. Don’t they get it I don’t want more drug’s. I just wanted to talk about it… LOL!
Well till next time. XOXO